Ever feel like this?
Then you should check out my recent devo titled Targets On Our Backs. We are targeted for GOOD, not bad!
I hope you enjoy it!
Life is good in my little world. Welcome.
Showing posts with label miscarriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label miscarriage. Show all posts
Friday, March 2, 2012
Ever feel like there's a target on your back?
I write devotionals for the Girlfriends at Central web site for Central Christian Church and I am going to start publishing them here, too, in case one might speak to someone out there.
Ever feel like this?
Then you should check out my recent devo titled Targets On Our Backs. We are targeted for GOOD, not bad!
I hope you enjoy it!
Ever feel like this?
Then you should check out my recent devo titled Targets On Our Backs. We are targeted for GOOD, not bad!
I hope you enjoy it!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Redemption Baby
Easter is the perfect time, I think, to tell this story.
We call our youngest son, Ethan, our "Redemption Baby."
Here's why.
Our pastor has been preaching this year out of the book of Genesis. Two recent phrases really stuck out to me:
"God's greatest work isn't creation. God's greatest work is redemption."
"Jesus didn't come to make bad people good, He came to make dead people ALIVE."
Death to life. That's redemption. That's Easter. That's our Ethan.
I was born with a mother's heart. I always wanted to be a mommy. I was one of those girls who hauled a baby doll and diaper bag, along with my Bible, to church on Sundays and who took a stroller with a doll to the mall. I bathed my dolls, rocked them to sleep, held them endlessly and loved them like they were real.
I was also one of those kids who were "raised in a Christian home." If it's possible to be saved because of your parents' relationship with Jesus, I would have surely qualified! But I made the decision to repent of my sins and ask Jesus into my heart at the age of 8. I remember feeling an immense feeling of peace that night.
My salvation story was not dramatic. I wasn't at rock bottom when I turned to God. I was just a kid who wanted to follow Christ.
Fast forward to March 2005. My husband, Drew, and I had been married for over two years and thought it was time to start a family. I was doing Fertility Awareness and it took about four "official tries" before we got a positive pregnancy test. We were thrilled!!
My pregnancy was a breeze and we planned to have a home birth with a midwife. I dreamed of being handed our baby, Drew announcing whether it was a boy or a girl and celebrating as a family in our own home, without any interference or interruptions.
On November 26, 2005, I labored for 18 hours at home but due to complications during the pushing phase, I had to be transported to the nearest hospital to deliver our son. His delivery was fast and furious and I don't even remember who said he was a boy. Andrew was 8 lbs. 4 oz. and 21" long.
He was taken from me immediately to be assessed and because of damage I incurred during the process, I had to have a spinal shot and go into surgery. I didn't get to hold Andrew until an hour after he was born. All of my dreams about his birth (aside from it being un-medicated) were lost. He was, by the way, perfectly healthy, born at 40 weeks and 6 days gestation and was 8 lbs. 4 oz. and 21" long.
I wanted my second birth to be different. We started trying to get pregnant when Andrew was about three years old and got pregnant on the first try. I was due on December 26, 2008 and eagerly told everyone our news and filled in my pregnancy journal.
It was right before Mother's Day and I was just 5 weeks along when I started bleeding. I attended church on Mother's Day, knowing my pregnancy was over, but with peace, knowing God was with me. On May 13th, before leaving home for work, I miscarried. I was actually very relieved.
We gave my body a few months to recover, then my husband was eager to start trying again. We told our friends, family and church family to start praying, even before we conceived. I was stunned when we, again, got pregnant on the first try. I was thrilled to discover that I was due on May 13th, the very day I'd miscarried the year before. I felt like God was at work, trying to somehow "make up for" the pregnancy we lost.
My pregnancy was, again, complication-free. I did have some hormonal issues and anxiety, but the baby and I checked out perfectly at every appointment. I had decreased appetite so I had only gained 12lbs when I went into labor.
I was at 40 weeks and five days when I went into labor at about 8pm on May 11th. I tried to sleep but finally woke my husband up at about 3am, wondering if "this was it." I worked through my contractions and by 5am, my husband insisted that we go to the hospital. I was checked in at 6am and was already at 7cm dilation, hooray! My contractions were shockingly mild and I felt excited and happy--a far cry from the hours of agony I spent in the bathtub during my first labor.
My doctor was called and said she'd get a quick cup of coffee and I'd be ready to go--she was right. I was ready to start pushing at 8am and Ethan was born at 8:12am. He weighed 8 lbs. 6 oz and was 22" long and perfectly healthy. Everyone was amazed at how "easy" my birth was. Thank you, Lord!! As soon as he came out, I was thanking my doctor and we were both thanking God!
The nurses handed him to me immediately and we waited for the cord to stop pulsing before cutting it. It was love at first sight and I was able to hold and admire him for an hour before they took him aside to clean him up. I finally got the birth experience I wanted.
We named him Ethan, which means "strong." Ethan would have been my name, had I been a boy! He came home from the hospital on May 13th, the same day I'd miscarried the year before. That day will always be a happy day in my memory now. God redeemed that day, the baby we lost, and my first birth experience. God's greatest work is redemption and I am so grateful to have seen it played out in my own life. What a mighty God we serve!
Ethan lives up to his name. He is this exceptionally sweet, happy, adorable baby. Even strangers comment on what an angel he is. He is also very strong and healthy, has hit all of his milestones early and is into everything! He is a tremendous blessing to everyone who knows him and we can't imagine our lives without him.
Since I gained so little weight during my pregnancy, I was at my pre-pregnancy weight by the time I got home from the hospital and within a month, my weight was lower than it had been in over five years. It was just a "happy side effect" of feeling yucky during my pregnancy--but it sure helped when it came to losing the baby weight!
We call our youngest son, Ethan, our "Redemption Baby."
Here's why.
Our pastor has been preaching this year out of the book of Genesis. Two recent phrases really stuck out to me:
"God's greatest work isn't creation. God's greatest work is redemption."
"Jesus didn't come to make bad people good, He came to make dead people ALIVE."
Death to life. That's redemption. That's Easter. That's our Ethan.
I was born with a mother's heart. I always wanted to be a mommy. I was one of those girls who hauled a baby doll and diaper bag, along with my Bible, to church on Sundays and who took a stroller with a doll to the mall. I bathed my dolls, rocked them to sleep, held them endlessly and loved them like they were real.
I was also one of those kids who were "raised in a Christian home." If it's possible to be saved because of your parents' relationship with Jesus, I would have surely qualified! But I made the decision to repent of my sins and ask Jesus into my heart at the age of 8. I remember feeling an immense feeling of peace that night.
My salvation story was not dramatic. I wasn't at rock bottom when I turned to God. I was just a kid who wanted to follow Christ.
Fast forward to March 2005. My husband, Drew, and I had been married for over two years and thought it was time to start a family. I was doing Fertility Awareness and it took about four "official tries" before we got a positive pregnancy test. We were thrilled!!
My pregnancy was a breeze and we planned to have a home birth with a midwife. I dreamed of being handed our baby, Drew announcing whether it was a boy or a girl and celebrating as a family in our own home, without any interference or interruptions.
On November 26, 2005, I labored for 18 hours at home but due to complications during the pushing phase, I had to be transported to the nearest hospital to deliver our son. His delivery was fast and furious and I don't even remember who said he was a boy. Andrew was 8 lbs. 4 oz. and 21" long.
He was taken from me immediately to be assessed and because of damage I incurred during the process, I had to have a spinal shot and go into surgery. I didn't get to hold Andrew until an hour after he was born. All of my dreams about his birth (aside from it being un-medicated) were lost. He was, by the way, perfectly healthy, born at 40 weeks and 6 days gestation and was 8 lbs. 4 oz. and 21" long.
I wanted my second birth to be different. We started trying to get pregnant when Andrew was about three years old and got pregnant on the first try. I was due on December 26, 2008 and eagerly told everyone our news and filled in my pregnancy journal.
It was right before Mother's Day and I was just 5 weeks along when I started bleeding. I attended church on Mother's Day, knowing my pregnancy was over, but with peace, knowing God was with me. On May 13th, before leaving home for work, I miscarried. I was actually very relieved.
We gave my body a few months to recover, then my husband was eager to start trying again. We told our friends, family and church family to start praying, even before we conceived. I was stunned when we, again, got pregnant on the first try. I was thrilled to discover that I was due on May 13th, the very day I'd miscarried the year before. I felt like God was at work, trying to somehow "make up for" the pregnancy we lost.
My pregnancy was, again, complication-free. I did have some hormonal issues and anxiety, but the baby and I checked out perfectly at every appointment. I had decreased appetite so I had only gained 12lbs when I went into labor.
I was at 40 weeks and five days when I went into labor at about 8pm on May 11th. I tried to sleep but finally woke my husband up at about 3am, wondering if "this was it." I worked through my contractions and by 5am, my husband insisted that we go to the hospital. I was checked in at 6am and was already at 7cm dilation, hooray! My contractions were shockingly mild and I felt excited and happy--a far cry from the hours of agony I spent in the bathtub during my first labor.
My doctor was called and said she'd get a quick cup of coffee and I'd be ready to go--she was right. I was ready to start pushing at 8am and Ethan was born at 8:12am. He weighed 8 lbs. 6 oz and was 22" long and perfectly healthy. Everyone was amazed at how "easy" my birth was. Thank you, Lord!! As soon as he came out, I was thanking my doctor and we were both thanking God!
The nurses handed him to me immediately and we waited for the cord to stop pulsing before cutting it. It was love at first sight and I was able to hold and admire him for an hour before they took him aside to clean him up. I finally got the birth experience I wanted.
We named him Ethan, which means "strong." Ethan would have been my name, had I been a boy! He came home from the hospital on May 13th, the same day I'd miscarried the year before. That day will always be a happy day in my memory now. God redeemed that day, the baby we lost, and my first birth experience. God's greatest work is redemption and I am so grateful to have seen it played out in my own life. What a mighty God we serve!
Ethan lives up to his name. He is this exceptionally sweet, happy, adorable baby. Even strangers comment on what an angel he is. He is also very strong and healthy, has hit all of his milestones early and is into everything! He is a tremendous blessing to everyone who knows him and we can't imagine our lives without him.
Since I gained so little weight during my pregnancy, I was at my pre-pregnancy weight by the time I got home from the hospital and within a month, my weight was lower than it had been in over five years. It was just a "happy side effect" of feeling yucky during my pregnancy--but it sure helped when it came to losing the baby weight!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Mother's Day 2008
No, that's not a typo. I just woke up from a lovely mother's Day nap that I almost didn't even take...and just as I did, I felt like the Holy Spirit was nudging me to tell this story today. Good thing I took that nap.
Last Mother's Day was a lovely day by all accounts. Church, lunch, presents, cake and plenty of celebrating. I hugged Andrew extra-hard all day and probably shed a tear or two.
Last Mother's Day, May 11th, I had a miscarriage. Mother's Day will always be marked by that event. Technically, I didn't actually miscarry until two days later on May 13th. It was a very sad few weeks but we knew that God would use it for good and after a few months, we started "trying" again, trusting in God's perfect timing.
Low and behold, we got pregnant on the first try. Our "family number" is 11 and I found out I was pregnant on September 2nd (9-2). I wrote that date on the pregnancy test and thought, "Hm, I wonder if that's significant." Then I realized that 9 + 2 = 11. "Oh, that's funny, Lord," I thought, knowing His fingerprints would be aaaaalllll over this pregnancy. A couple days later, I calculated my due date as May 13, which was the date of the actual miscarriage. I thought, "Oooooh, Lord, I knew you were up to something."
God has, indeed, shown up many, many times during the last nine months. I have grown more spiritually in the past year that I had in entire five-year spans in years past. He has taught me so much about trusting Him, abiding in Him, how to pray, how to rest and so very much about PEACE. Everything I've been through has been more than worth it.
A few weeks ago, the Holy Spirit also gave me this verse and said, "That's your verse for this pregnancy." I fully expect there to be dancing on the day Ethan is born!
Jeremiah 31:13 "For I will turn their mourning to joy, Will comfort them, And make them rejoice rather than sorrow."
To me, the way the miscarriage and this pregnancy all played out have REDEMPTION written all over it. God is all about redemption. I am so very grateful to be redeemed and that my God loves me enough to extend redemption to me, sometimes even in creative and unexpected ways!
BUT...the story isn't over yet. Here we are on Mother's Day 2009. A Mother's Day when I am four days past-due with a baby boy and VERY anxious to meet him. What will his story be? How will this story end? Of course, when this story ends, a new one begins. Will he be born on Mother's Day? On the 11th? On the 13th?? Maybe on a different day? No matter what, I now can rest in the knowledge that God has it all figured out and all I have to do is wait for Him to write the story.
And as of 4:30p.m., the story continues...
Last Mother's Day was a lovely day by all accounts. Church, lunch, presents, cake and plenty of celebrating. I hugged Andrew extra-hard all day and probably shed a tear or two.
Last Mother's Day, May 11th, I had a miscarriage. Mother's Day will always be marked by that event. Technically, I didn't actually miscarry until two days later on May 13th. It was a very sad few weeks but we knew that God would use it for good and after a few months, we started "trying" again, trusting in God's perfect timing.
Low and behold, we got pregnant on the first try. Our "family number" is 11 and I found out I was pregnant on September 2nd (9-2). I wrote that date on the pregnancy test and thought, "Hm, I wonder if that's significant." Then I realized that 9 + 2 = 11. "Oh, that's funny, Lord," I thought, knowing His fingerprints would be aaaaalllll over this pregnancy. A couple days later, I calculated my due date as May 13, which was the date of the actual miscarriage. I thought, "Oooooh, Lord, I knew you were up to something."
God has, indeed, shown up many, many times during the last nine months. I have grown more spiritually in the past year that I had in entire five-year spans in years past. He has taught me so much about trusting Him, abiding in Him, how to pray, how to rest and so very much about PEACE. Everything I've been through has been more than worth it.
A few weeks ago, the Holy Spirit also gave me this verse and said, "That's your verse for this pregnancy." I fully expect there to be dancing on the day Ethan is born!
Jeremiah 31:13 "For I will turn their mourning to joy, Will comfort them, And make them rejoice rather than sorrow."
To me, the way the miscarriage and this pregnancy all played out have REDEMPTION written all over it. God is all about redemption. I am so very grateful to be redeemed and that my God loves me enough to extend redemption to me, sometimes even in creative and unexpected ways!
BUT...the story isn't over yet. Here we are on Mother's Day 2009. A Mother's Day when I am four days past-due with a baby boy and VERY anxious to meet him. What will his story be? How will this story end? Of course, when this story ends, a new one begins. Will he be born on Mother's Day? On the 11th? On the 13th?? Maybe on a different day? No matter what, I now can rest in the knowledge that God has it all figured out and all I have to do is wait for Him to write the story.
And as of 4:30p.m., the story continues...
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Report and surprise
Well, the rumor was correct...my local Target had given the scrap booking aisle a huge overhaul (super-cute new designs, plus fall!!) and had put all the previously 30% off-ish merchandise on an end-cap for anywhere from 30% to over 70% off!!! Oh, yeah, baby!! I got everything you're about to see for about $13. No kidding.
Ok. Photo mounting squares for $1.07 and it comes with the nifty dispenser. I got two.
40 funky chipboard letters for $1.98
Place cards for $0.62 (and in a post very soon, I'm gonna show you what to do with them!).
And cute and simple embellishments, 12 for $0.98!
This adorable 32-sheet paper pack was $0.98 and the matching stickers were $0.87!! So cute!! All the paper is double-sided and so cheery.
A slew of envelopes for $0.74/ten and note cards for $0.62/ten. Plus a set of silver cards and envelopes for 48cents and 58cents respectively. Woo-yeah!!
Another paper pack, double-sided, for $1.07 and cute flowers 98cents/50.
And perhaps my favorite...this turquoise 8.5"x8.5" scrapbook previously $12.99, for $3.24. WITH polka dots. Oh, yeah.
My trip to Target yielded a surprise as well. I think this will be the first picture to go in the new album!!
Yes, a positive pregnancy test!
I was so surprised by the first one, I took a second.
Some of you know I miscarried a few months ago so we're asking for as much prayer as we can get that this pregnancy will progress normally, and for the health of our baby-to-be and myself.
I'll keep you posted!! :)
Ok. Photo mounting squares for $1.07 and it comes with the nifty dispenser. I got two.
40 funky chipboard letters for $1.98
Place cards for $0.62 (and in a post very soon, I'm gonna show you what to do with them!).
And cute and simple embellishments, 12 for $0.98!
This adorable 32-sheet paper pack was $0.98 and the matching stickers were $0.87!! So cute!! All the paper is double-sided and so cheery.
A slew of envelopes for $0.74/ten and note cards for $0.62/ten. Plus a set of silver cards and envelopes for 48cents and 58cents respectively. Woo-yeah!!
Another paper pack, double-sided, for $1.07 and cute flowers 98cents/50.
And perhaps my favorite...this turquoise 8.5"x8.5" scrapbook previously $12.99, for $3.24. WITH polka dots. Oh, yeah.
My trip to Target yielded a surprise as well. I think this will be the first picture to go in the new album!!
Yes, a positive pregnancy test!
I was so surprised by the first one, I took a second.
Some of you know I miscarried a few months ago so we're asking for as much prayer as we can get that this pregnancy will progress normally, and for the health of our baby-to-be and myself.
I'll keep you posted!! :)
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Taking a break
Hi, ladies. I am taking a break from...well, virtually everything. God has asked me to purge the things in my life that don't contribute to strengthening my relationship with Him. So I will be spending more time away from my computer for a while so I can spend more time in communion with my God. I'll be back--and I'll miss you!
P.S. I will still be visiting some of my favorite blogs occasionally for inspiration and encouragement. It's the writing, uploading pictures and posting that takes so much time--but if you're reading this, you already know that! :)
-T
P.S. I will still be visiting some of my favorite blogs occasionally for inspiration and encouragement. It's the writing, uploading pictures and posting that takes so much time--but if you're reading this, you already know that! :)
-T
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Dark and stormy skies...
...to match my mood.
I tried to get out yesterday (a little cabin fever) and take my son to the park but THIS is how it looked when we got there. This huge cloud moved right over us and it got all crazy-windy and even rained a little. It felt nice but we had to run to the car once and then he was more interested in changing the stations on the radio than on playing. Grrrr. I wasn't really in the mood to fight him, so we sat in the car and enjoyed the storm. I actually went to take pictures of the park because I'm hosting a play date there in a couple weeks but THIS was all I got before the battery died. Figures, huh?
Then this is the spot in the yard where we've decided to plant a tree or bush in memory of the baby that wasn't meant to be. We chose an angel (nay, a fairy, at my husband's insistence) to place next to it, just as a small memorial of sorts. The anniversary of our loss will always be Mother's Day in my mind so this will be a place I can go to say, "We will never forget you."
I tried to get out yesterday (a little cabin fever) and take my son to the park but THIS is how it looked when we got there. This huge cloud moved right over us and it got all crazy-windy and even rained a little. It felt nice but we had to run to the car once and then he was more interested in changing the stations on the radio than on playing. Grrrr. I wasn't really in the mood to fight him, so we sat in the car and enjoyed the storm. I actually went to take pictures of the park because I'm hosting a play date there in a couple weeks but THIS was all I got before the battery died. Figures, huh?
Then this is the spot in the yard where we've decided to plant a tree or bush in memory of the baby that wasn't meant to be. We chose an angel (nay, a fairy, at my husband's insistence) to place next to it, just as a small memorial of sorts. The anniversary of our loss will always be Mother's Day in my mind so this will be a place I can go to say, "We will never forget you."
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Happy Mother's Day!!
I hope you all enjoyed your Mother's Day, being honored yourselves and honoring the mothers in your life.
We had a very enjoyable day today!
My parents attended church with us and my hubby and I got to attend a service together--a rare treat because one or the both of us are usually serving. A dear couple took our place in the two-year-olds class--what a blessing.
Why is there a picture of me with my car? Because for Mother's Day, my husband treated me (or my car, actually) to a much-needed wash, detailing, transmission flush and oil change. My main love language is "acts of service," so this one hit the mark! MUCH appreciated!! He got me a lovely card, too, that made me cry. Even better, he got a card for my mom from our son and even had him "sign it" (scribble inside) and surprised us both. He is soooo thoughtful. He also got me a "Princess" tag for my car! See it in the back window?? That's my dad and our home in the background--a rare glimpse!
My parents went to a dinner in a local orchard last night and brought me back this basket o' peaches, right off the trees! They also got me this adorable over-sized tea cup and saucer/planter with fresh basil. YUM! I'll try to keep it alive long enough to EAT it!
After church, my mom and I ran to the grocery store (OK, mosied) and got fixin's for lunch--sandwiches, cole slaw, pasta salad and "junky" dip and chips. And root beer, yum! Plus THIS CAKE with the butterfly on top. Mmmm.
I got my mom this beautiful card from my buddy at Lemon Tree Studio on Etsy--all the ladies in my family got different variations of this one. She loved it.
She also got this flip flop bag from Baffin Bags, another Etsy friend! Loved that, too!! She was going to use it as an occasional tote bag but liked it so much that she's using it as a purse!
And this will be the test of who actually gets to the end of these long posts...
it was a bittersweet day today, too, because I'm having complications with my pregnancy and will be going to the doctor tomorrow. We're praying for a miracle but only God knows at this point. Will keep you posted.
Hope you had a great day, too!!
We had a very enjoyable day today!
My parents attended church with us and my hubby and I got to attend a service together--a rare treat because one or the both of us are usually serving. A dear couple took our place in the two-year-olds class--what a blessing.
Why is there a picture of me with my car? Because for Mother's Day, my husband treated me (or my car, actually) to a much-needed wash, detailing, transmission flush and oil change. My main love language is "acts of service," so this one hit the mark! MUCH appreciated!! He got me a lovely card, too, that made me cry. Even better, he got a card for my mom from our son and even had him "sign it" (scribble inside) and surprised us both. He is soooo thoughtful. He also got me a "Princess" tag for my car! See it in the back window?? That's my dad and our home in the background--a rare glimpse!
My parents went to a dinner in a local orchard last night and brought me back this basket o' peaches, right off the trees! They also got me this adorable over-sized tea cup and saucer/planter with fresh basil. YUM! I'll try to keep it alive long enough to EAT it!
After church, my mom and I ran to the grocery store (OK, mosied) and got fixin's for lunch--sandwiches, cole slaw, pasta salad and "junky" dip and chips. And root beer, yum! Plus THIS CAKE with the butterfly on top. Mmmm.
I got my mom this beautiful card from my buddy at Lemon Tree Studio on Etsy--all the ladies in my family got different variations of this one. She loved it.
She also got this flip flop bag from Baffin Bags, another Etsy friend! Loved that, too!! She was going to use it as an occasional tote bag but liked it so much that she's using it as a purse!
And this will be the test of who actually gets to the end of these long posts...
it was a bittersweet day today, too, because I'm having complications with my pregnancy and will be going to the doctor tomorrow. We're praying for a miracle but only God knows at this point. Will keep you posted.
Hope you had a great day, too!!
Monday, April 21, 2008
I've been a little other-occupied...
...on getting pregnant.
And now I am. Just found out. A little freaked out!!
It still feels really surreal. It hasn't really sunk in yet.
And we're thrilled!! It only took one try so I'm happy to not have to stress out about it. Phew.
But, still. Not real yet.
I'm surprising my folks with the news tonight so that may help. I've been telling people all day. I sent out some announcements in the mail today. So, despite not really believing it--it's real! It's happening. Wow.
So that's where I've been. But I'm back and, no, this blog won't turn into a pregnancy journal! But be on the look-out for my ever-expanding belly! And possibly less blogging when the "night sickness" sets in.
Did I mention "wow?"
Here's that second pink line that changes everything (you gotta look real close)...
** {I labeled this post "miscarriage" for anyone wondering how my miscarriage story played out. Added 2-22-2012}
And now I am. Just found out. A little freaked out!!
It still feels really surreal. It hasn't really sunk in yet.
And we're thrilled!! It only took one try so I'm happy to not have to stress out about it. Phew.
But, still. Not real yet.
I'm surprising my folks with the news tonight so that may help. I've been telling people all day. I sent out some announcements in the mail today. So, despite not really believing it--it's real! It's happening. Wow.
So that's where I've been. But I'm back and, no, this blog won't turn into a pregnancy journal! But be on the look-out for my ever-expanding belly! And possibly less blogging when the "night sickness" sets in.
Did I mention "wow?"
Here's that second pink line that changes everything (you gotta look real close)...
** {I labeled this post "miscarriage" for anyone wondering how my miscarriage story played out. Added 2-22-2012}
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