Monday, August 30, 2010

Beginning my list of 1,000 Gifts

I've been reflecting lately on my struggle with anxiety and fear over the last two years. I hadn't had "an episode" for a while....until two nights ago.

"I'm not over this yet," I told myself in the midst of my chest tightening and my body shaking. "God is still working on me."

And I turned to one of my favorite tactics for getting the anxiety under control: thankfulness. The only thing that worked that night was laying in bed and focusing on what I'm thankful for. My thankfulness turned to prayer and before I knew it, I had drifted to sleep.

I feel that I am a grateful person by nature. I have written thank you notes to people since I learned how to write. I go out of my way to thank people for taking care of my kids at church, for their service, for thinking of me or just for being someone who blesses my heart. I keep a journal where I list what I'm thankful for before I go to bed at night. I often drift to sleep thinking about everything I have to be thankful for.

But it's a work in progress.

I've been following Holy Experience for a while now and have considered joining the Gratitude Community and beginning my official list of 1,000 gifts.

Realizing that God is still working on me with the anxiety issue, I thought I still need to be intentional about preventing the anxiety in the first place, including living in a place of constant gratitude.

So I'm finally taking the plunge.

1:: my fourth annual leadership retreat

2:: being inspired by amazing women of God

3:: being cold in August

4:: fuzzy pink socks that smell like peppermint

5:: being given a new book

6:: new insights from The Book

7:: sleeping alone

8:: giving a devotional about shoes

9:: walking by faith

10:: anxiety returning and the reminder that I still have growing to do

11:: knowing my boys are left in great hands when I'm gone

12:: finding perfect peace by resting in Him

13:: repentance and healing

14:: chamomile tea

15:: coming home to a clean house

16:: sleeping with my baby and my hubby

17:: re-connecting with an old friend

18:: my milkaholic baby

19:: my huge 4.75-year-old

20:: M&M cookies

Read all about the art of Joy Finding

holy experience


Sara said...

Snuggling with baby and hubby, a memory I too cherish. Welcome to the community.

Delighted as always to splash around with you and drench myself in His goodness.


Myrtle's Turtles said...

What an honest post. I know too well the struggle with anxiety and fear. It is in my home and torments those who suffer. What a simple remedy for such a debilitating illness. Gratitude. How bold and insightful of you. Thank you for being honest so others can all feel a little less isolated.