I have occasionally wrestled with feelings of fear or dread in my lifetime, usually in times of turmoil, but certainly not enough to be concerned or to seek help for it--and definitely not for no known reason!
The help I'm asking for is prayer.
I feel like it's all hormonal/physical, then intensified by ME just psyching myself out. It's like I get a hormonal surge, so my hands and feet get clammy, I start to sweat, my heart races and my lungs tighten. It's like going from normal to "fight or flight" mode, instantly! And usually, nothing I know of triggers it.
The first time, about two weeks ago, my hubby and I were having dinner and he mentioned that a friend wanted to come stay for a few days in May and I said, "Well, who knows what he'll have to put up with. We'll have a newborn and you know how unpredictable they can be!" and instantly, I felt "that feeling." Note, Andrew's newborn phase was a breeze and I had NO anxiety then...and I'm not truly worried about it with this baby! So we're talking about an unfounded fear of the unknown. I had to really breathe and give myself a chance to calm down, and Drew had to talk to me and remind me that everything was OK...and then it passed and I finished my dinner!
Today, I was feeling a little fatigued, so I laid on the couch, watching Andrew play on the back porch through the screen door. All of the sudden--probably because he'd turned off the fan when I asked him to turn off the light--I felt myself go all sweaty and felt that familiar feeling of anxiety...and my mind went to Facebook, where I'd read earlier that a friend had come down with a stomach flu (one of my least favorite things) and for a moment, I thought, "Oh, no! Does my stomach hurt?? What if I come down with it, too???" and there I was, panicked. It lasted several minutes as I laid there, trying to distract myself and also pray. I finally got up and busied myself with other things, then sent my hubby a text. He called, and by the time we hung up, I felt pretty much fine again, although there seems to be a lingering "after effect," intensified because it's been a long day and I'll be alone all evening. Later, I went on-line to look up "anxiety during pregnancy," but most of what's there assumes a pre-existing condition. A good laugh because of a Facebook comment and a Popcicle went a long way in making me feel better, too.
The worst part is how unpredictable it is...and that it's so unlike me! I'm not a "headachy person," either--so even a mild headache throws me off, because I'm not use to them. So it's like that--unfamiliar! And it makes me feel very out of control, which is only intensified by being pregnant, when you really aren't entirely in control!
So PRAY. Pray that I can find ways to cope...or better yet, OVERCOME THIS! I definitely don't want to deal with this close to the birth--I need to be strong, mentally and physically!
Pray that I don't let it become this "spiritual issue," thus inviting the enemy to get involved--as he is prone to messing with me when I am weak. Pray that I can hide under the covering of God and rest in his promises.
And just pray for my health and the health of the baby, as we near the "home stretch."
Thank you!!!
3 comments:
I will be praying for you! With my third pregnancy I suffered from "anxiety" attacks- I would pray as soon as they began...and drink a glass of water (that was suggested by the Dr.)and take some deep breaths..it seemed to help!
Many Blessings..and prayers!
I am praying for you, too....and know that everything will be just fine. relax, take deep breaths and put your feet up. Let us know how you are feeling!
With both of my girls I had panic attacks...they were REALLY bad with Abby, so much so I almost called an ambulance one time because I felt like I couldn't breathe. Afterwards, I talked to my doctor and she explained that I was probably hyperventalting? (breathing too quickly)and to breathe in a paper bag. I found that going outside and getting a change in scenery/fresh air helped a little bit. Jeff really saved me though. Almost always my panic attacks happened in the late evening. One minute I was fine the next I had that fight/flight feeling and I would completely panic. I told Jeff that I really needed him to help me - he would make me a glass of warm herb tea and we would count as I took deep breaths in/out...then we would pretend we were at the ocean, breath in with the tide and out with the tide. Mentally focusing on something like that helped a lot. My panic attacks were so bad that with the sunset brought great anxiety that I would have one again...anticipating them was terrible too. At one point, I almost went on meds but I just really didn't want to, so I plowed threw them.
I haven't had ONE panic attack since having Abby - so I think they were totally hormone related.
I wonder why that happens.
I've been praying for you friend. Call and we can chat anytime, if you need someone to breath with you on the phone, give me call.
Loves, Hugs,
B
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